Akbar and Birbal on BT Brinjal

Act I
Scene I

The setting is the lawns of Monsanto Mohan Akbar's residence.

(The play opens with MM Akbar and Ramesh Birbal taking a stroll on the lawns.)


Monsanto Mohan Akbar: Today I met the chief of a company. The suprisingly thing was that the company had the same name as mine.

Ramesh Birbal: And what is the name of the company sir?

MM AKbar: C'mon dude, that's Monsanto. What a great company, I say!

R Birbal: Oh Monsanto! That indeed is a great company sir!

MM Akbar: They grow BT brinjal*, the tastiest brinjal in the whole world.

R Birbal: That's a cute name sir! BT Brinjal! Now, why did I not think of a similar name for the Coppenhagen summit? BT Summit or Bio Trashing Summit!

MM Akbar: Keep your focus Birbal. I am talking about BT Brinjal and not Coppenhagen Summit. That is dead and gone.

R Birbal: But BT Brinjal will remain, forever and ever. Like the plastic bags. Long live BT Brinjal!

MM Akbar: I have to hurry Birbal! I have to give a presentation to madam on how to get the prices of foodgrains down! She is hopping mad owing to the price rise. And Mr Charade Power isn't making things easy either.

R Birbal: You work too hard sir. Anyway best of luck, sir! Next time I will bring along BT Brinjal Bharta for you to taste!

(to himself) Now doesn't that rhyme: BT Brinjal Bharta*! I am really original!

(Exit MM Akbar and R Birbal)

Scene II
The lawns of MM Akbar's residence. A few days later.

(Enter MM Akbar and R Birbal)

R Birbal: Sir, I have brought BTBB for you. Here is, BT Brinjal Bharta.

MM Akbar: (looking annoyed) Now keep that bharta to yourself Birbal! That youngster of madam made such a case against BT Brinjal. He said farmers will die of starvation if we introduce this accursed BT Brinjal. He said we have 2400 varieties of indigenous brinjals Why would we need BT brinjal? He has a point there. Monsanto or not, BT Brinjal is no good.

R Birbal: Yes Sir! BT Brinjal is no good. Down with BT Brinjal! Let's kick out BT Brinjal!

MM Akbar: What Birbal, only a few days earlier you were singing paeans about BT Brinjal. Now you seem to do a complete volte face. How can you be so capricious?

R Birbal: Sir! You gave me a ministerial berth, not BT Brinjal. If you say BT Brinjal is Baigun*, so be it. I am going to throw this BT Brinjal Bharta at the bottom of the Indian Ocean lest it contaminates our indigenous brinjals.

MM Akbar: Yes do that. And make sure there are no traces of it left in that container of yours.

(Exit MM Akbar and R Birbal)


Note 1: Eggplant
Note 2: An Indian culinary preparation made from eggplant.
Note 3: Another name for eggplant. 'Baigun' in most Indian languages also means 'without any benefit or value'. Used in the second sense tongue in cheek here.