Kick Ass

A mathematical theory is doing the rounds in the Internet. From it I derived a management theory. First, the mathematical theory then my management theory:
Quote:
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H- I-T
2+21+12+12+19+ 8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S- S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+ 19+19+9+14+ 7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that, while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top

Unquote

Extension of the mathematical theory to a management theory:
I call this the lick ass and kick ass theory. I argue that ass kicking is greater than bullshit, although both tie at 103%.
Lick the ass of your manager and kick the ass of your subordinate. It is so easy. What’s more it even rhymes! So, it makes sense to get these two traits together. You will really go far. Here is a model that I propound:



Look at the four quadrants Q1, Q2, Q3, and Q4:
The guy in Q1 has the least lick ass and kick ass trait. He will go nowhere. In fact, he is a stillborn manager.
The guy in Q2 has high kick ass and low lick ass trait. He will be like a projectile with a low trajectory; he will go far but will never go high. Actually he will go so far from his Company that it won’t be safe for him to return.
The guy in Q3 has low kick ass but high lick ass trait. He will be like a projectile with a very high trajectory; he will go high but not far. If you only exercise your tongue and not your legs, you are likely to get blisters on your tongue and arthritis in your legs.
The guy in Q4 has high kick ass and high lick ass trait. He will go high and will go far. He will kick the ass of his subordinates, even step on them. Few can challenge him in licking ass. He is the manager to look out for. He is the winner.